top of page

Life Is A Gift {Trigger-Loss}

My husband and I made the decision to be married when I was 18. He was in the military and that seemed to put an urgency on some Airmen to make the quick decision to marry their sweethearts. He graduated bootcamp, asked me to marry him, went to tech school came home on Sept 10, married me on the 13th, and we moved from West Virginia to Texas on the 15th.

What a rush.

I moved 21 hours away the first time I ever left home. I missed my family, my mom especially.


I crafted, cleaned, organized, researched jobs, chatted with my mom, and waited on Michael to get home.

I needed some friends!

One day after Michael got home from the base he asked me if I would like to babysit his coworker's son. Without hesitation, YES! I loved kids, they loved me, and we always had fun.I met the family for whom I would be caring for their three year old son and we all clicked.


He was a cute, brown-haired, little tot. The couple was similar to us, married young, but 10 years into it. The mother of the little boy, Brandi, was one of the sweetest, most friendly women I had ever met. She immediately treated us as friends and it wasn't long before we became so. She was a well loved nurse at our area hospital and fit into that role perfectly. She had such a giving, gentle spirit.

Brandi and I shared our lives together regularly. Our families were frequently together and when our husbands were away on deployments or TDY's, we were there for each other.

We shared tears and celebrations. She was a comfort when welcoming our first born into the world and an unforgettable support while raising him.

Michael and I lived in Texas due to military life only. There is an inevitable season that will be faced when living that lifestyle.


You will leave your friends and your friends will leave you. Brandi and I had been through so much together and had grown so close over the few, short years that we had each other near. Moving was hard. Leaving the comfort of what had become my home and the people I grew to love was not easy.

A few years ago Brandi contacted me and told me she had stage 4 kidney cancer. Shocked was an understatement. She was hopeful and had entrusted her life in God's hands. She had a kidney removed, started treatment, and was on the road to healing.

Two short years later, when our sweet Eva was just a few days old, Brandi sent me this message:

"I am dying sweet girl. It has spread to lung bones ovary and abdomen. Making funeral arrangements and videos for kiddos. I started chemo a month ago but cancer is pretty far advance. Hey we can't live forever right? I got mad and hated God for a while but I am trying to accept it. Poor Jaxon has cried and cried and Michael cries silently. Savannah doesn't understand she knows I am very sick though. Please don't worry about me. U have such a precious family. I am honored to have known u and Michael. I will keep u updated but know I will see u in heaven He is calling me home. I only wish I could be there longer for kids. I need a miracle and I just don't know if its God's plan to save me. I love u sweet friend."

That is hard to get through, even today, but I cherish her words.

She left the earth 5 1/2 months later on March 27, 2014.

There are few people in my life as dear to me as Brandi was, one being her son.

She was a genuine person. She loved our Lord, remained true to herself, and wore her heart on the outside of her body.

Today I grieve. I grieve for Brandi's husband and her two precious children. I grieve for that cute, brown-haired little tot that doesn't have any more time with his mommy. I grieve for her sweet mom, whom she took after.

I miss them. I pray for nothing less than joy for them today. Joy that she is not in pain, not suffering any longer. I pray her babies find comfort that she is alive, just not here.

I always miss them and will continue to have a sadness while here on earth without her, but loving her...was worth it.

Today, it has been a year.

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
bottom of page